My bedroom in the new house has been annoying me for the last few weeks. Something about the set up wasn’t right, and I had no idea how to fix it, but after conferring with my knowledgeable bike boy last night, I came up with some ideas. So today, I made a trip to Ikea, land of strangely named products, and a shop layout ensuring you feel like a hamster trapped in a maze. Happily, I’ve been trapped in that maze enough times now to know how to make it out alive past Smaaland, bendy ice cube trays, and those corkscrew shaped bamboo plants everyone loves so much.

I only bought one thing, which is in itself an achievement - a metal cabinet for my television and DVD player. It’s red (of course), and I put it together myself …

Initially, I assumed it came complete with screws and things you’d use an allan key for. After all, Swedes practically invented that style of furniture, so why fix it if it ain’t broke? But no, not a screw, or an allan key in sight. Instead, the pieces cleverly joined (with a jaunty diagram shouting “CLICK” when two pieces needed to be forced together) with a series of overlapping edges, and two things resembling allan keys, which weren’t.

I followed the diagram perfectly, but like most of my Ikea efforts, it’s slightly out of whack. Here’s a checklist for my Ikea requirements:

Item’s door/drawer is slightly out of whack, with a greater distance at the top/bottom than at the bottom/top (delete whichever doesn’t apply)

Item’s door/drawer rubs against another part of the item, causing an unsightly bulge where one wasn’t meant to be. Also removes paint from the beautifully powdercoated finish.

I’m so annoyed at the item, I can’t be bothered dismantling and remantling, so must learn to live with said imperfections. Witness my chest of drawers with the one at the bottom which won’t close unless I use the force of a Mack truck and an upwards tilt … and my new PS cabinet (props on the slightly less insane name though, Ikea), which meets all the above requirements.

I know when James, and possibly the bike boy see my PS cabinet, they’ll feel the need to dis/remantle. I, on the other hand, am inherently lazy. It isn’t going to collapse and send my television hurtling to the floor. It looks great - especially if you aren’t the kind of person who notices small imperfections. And it’s red - really, that’s all I need.

So the upshot - the room looks better, all my expectations have been met, and tomorrow, I’m buying a bed from Ikea. But I’m going to let James put it together for me …

Today I’m loving: Index cards. My enrollment in the massage course is finalised, and I’m stockpiling for anatomy study.