I’m going to start this post by inserting a heavy sigh right here. Then I’m going to move on - notice the bright, happy tone of my typing?

Those of you who read my last post will probably gather things didn’t go according to my hideously overly emotionally involved plans. I’ve spent the last couple of days trying to pull myself back together, and not burst into tears at inappropriate times. One of the bad things is all my beautiful clients were so interested in what was happening with the house, I’d get asked up to twenty times in one day, so it followed there would be at least ten (brief) moments of tears. Interestingly, sometimes I could talk about it quite rationally, and converse intelligently with no emotion, others I would lose it totally. I can almost call it funny - almost.

I realise now that as I was riding into work on Tuesday there was an omen I should’ve paid more attention to, which maybe indicated things wouldn’t be going my way. It was 8.55am and full on peak traffic, and as I headed behind the CUB I noticed a little caramel coloured dog prancing through the traffic, obviously lost and oblivious to potential danger. I pulled over to do something about it, then realised I had no way of containing the little animal, and that I would be horrendously late for my class if I stayed. A woman who’d pulled up in front of me headed off as a rescuer, so I felt okay about leaving. But for the rest of my ride, I felt hideously guilty thinking about how I should’ve helped the poor little thing.

A couple of hours later I was riding home to see another client - and running late. The prancing dog was still there, this time on the footpath. I felt relieved it wasn’t dodging traffic, but again, I had the same problem of containment and time constraints. After I trained my client, I rode back to the scene with a large backpack to put the dog in, but I couldn’t find it. I’m hoping it’s owners found it, or some kind person helped it. It probably wouldn’t have liked being shoved in a backpack much, even if I’d shoved it nicely.

I’m not saying if I’d helped the dog things would’ve gone differently, but I had a horrible feeling all day because I didn’t help it. However, that feeling was soon replaced by another, far more horrible feeling. And that brings me to today, which is my most tear free day yet - like one of those AA badges - “12 hours without tears”.

So now I’m spending my time checking out the progress of my eBay auctions (my username is tigermissmaya - if you’re looking for vintage clothes, check out my auctions!), various real estate sites, and trying to make some order out of the chaos I seem to live in on a daily basis. Also trying to sleep.

Today I’m loving: that a day off is less than 24 hours away