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As of tomorrow I only have eight days of work until my first holiday for the year. For nine days I don’t need to do anything - except hang out, sleep, eat, swim, and my favorite thing ever - rereading trashy books.

For someone who used to make their living writing and editing (not books admittedly, but tv was kind of similar), I have a disturbing love for a particular type of book - crap. Fitting the bill perfectly are Patricia Cornwell’s last four or five books, which I’ve read, despised, and then reread and despised all over again. Disturbing you might think? Agreed, but I’m powerless to resist the urge.

I actually liked her first three or four books, which were quite well written and clever - so I can’t bring myself to read them again. All the bad ones are at my mother’s house (which is why they’re a Christmas time treat) - because she suffers from almost exactly the same affliction. Agatha Christie was her first love, but I’ve lured her over to the Cornwell dark side. Last year Miss M got furious with me as I ploughed my way through Blowfly and the subsequent titles I’ve forgotten the name of, involving some disturbing French werewolf, a heap of smart alec regular characters, and Kay Scarpetta - the most annoying heroine of all.

It’s a sick addiction and I probably need some kind of support group, but I may have to create it myself. Until then, my end of year holidays will be inexorably linked with Ms Cornwell’s particular brand of “creativity”.

The last two days’ advent activities have been held over since Miss M has had to go to her papa’s house early, so photos will be posted some time later this week.

Today I’m loving: the fringe I didn’t know I had!

Yesterday afternoon Miss M graded for her orange belt in Kenpo, a form of Karate. She’s been going for two years now, and though I had doubts she’d keep it up, she’s only missed two classes. Once she went to a seminar with the head of American Kenpo, Jeff Speakman, and got up in front of everyone to do a form after only having learned for six weeks. At the time, she was the only student at the Richmond Kenpo school, among other schools of twenty and thirty people. I remember thinking there was no way I’d have got up in front of all those people now, let alone when I was six.

So her proud uncle and I watched as she went through Lone Kimono, Attacking Mace, Strike of Fear and all the other techniques with cool names, and both got tears in our eyes. Afterwards at the end of year presentation, she was awarded trophies for being both Class Achiever, and Student Leader of the year, and her Sensei made a speech about her.

Here are a couple of photos of the grading. One of the things I like best about it is the ritual of taking all the knowledge from your old belt and putting it into the new one. Marking achievement in a special way is so important, and I don’t think we do it enough in our modern world.

Today I’m loving: my clever girl, but you probably gathered that already

NW - Pg 92 “Cameron’s Hot Bod Tips”

Ah Cameron Diaz - she’s cool, has a great body and she’s Justin Timberlake’s girlfriend! Her attitude to exercise and diet is great. She eats breakfast (and a very impressive one), surfs, and didn’t start exercising until a few years ago. Granted she was a dancer before an actor, so I don’t know if she can claim no exercise ever, but now she credits sex with being her favorite workout. Definitely a girl who likes to cross train - this article gets ****

New Idea, Pg 77 - Christmas Diet Crimes

Latest in what seems to be a popular article at the moment - how to eat over Christmas and not feel like you’ve trashed your body. This one is a goody - easy to follow general advice, good ideas for healthy food, and the old classic - switch X for Y and save Z kJ’s. Interestingly, this article claims drinking too much is most people’s dietary downfall over the festive season. ****

Pg 78 - Survivor - Party Season

Not just about exercise and diet, but incorporating organisation, sleep, and avoiding hangovers, this article is worth reading. ****

Pg 84 - Get Fit With Guy - Tom shapes up

Guy Leech gets some advice on working out from Tom Williams - who has a fantastic physique. This man is a great example of dedication to training - and I’m impressed. If you’ve ever made an excuse for not working out, read this and feel humbled! ****

New Idea kicks some goals with this week’s articles!

Woman’s Day, Pg 8 - Bindi’s Health Kick

At Hunt’s this morning, we were watching Bindi Irwin’s 10 minute fitness show on the giant plasma screen, and everyone was slightly creeped out. I can’t explain why, it just seemed disturbing. However, this is a big plug for her fitness video, which will no doubt sell heaps of copies, and hopefully get some kids moving around a bit more. In this interview Bindi seems way too grown up, but finally admits to eating a little bit of chocolate. Having not watched the video I can’t really rate it, but if it’s going to inspire kids to be more active, then good on Bindi. *** (cash in factor - massive!)

Pg 64, Overhaul Joy - We’ve lost 167kgs

Some pretty incredible before and after pictures of the Overhaul contestants, with some interesting comments on their new bodies and attitudes. Inspiration for anyone who feels like they’re too big to exercise.

Also on these pages is a preview of the Great Weight Debate, where groups of people followed various diets for an amount of time, and tonight @ 7.30pm, we get to see who had the most success. It seems as though it’s taking most things at face value - the Atkins diet is given the thumbs up as an effective weight loss tool, although it’s been proven to be an unhealthy way of dropping kilos. Is losing weight really worth wrecking your body? (No rating, since there’s no real advice here)

OK, Pg 88 - Celebrity Bodies - 3 Steps to Sexy Legs

Donna Aston gives advice on how to craft a fab set of pins. Plie squats get the thumbs up, and she includes advice on cardio and diet. Good stuff. ***

This week’s weight related headlines:

Janet fits the bill (Janet Jackson) Pg 111, Woman’s Day

Jamie battles the bulge (Jamie Oliver) Pg 122, Woman’s Day

I’m not pregnant (Jennifer Garner) Pg 32, OK

Did Nicole take skinny drugs (Nicole Richie) Pg 22, NW

It’s Jamie but that’s no fat suit (Jamie Oliver) Pg 40, NW

Does Kirstie really weigh 65kg? (Kirstie Allie) Pg 41, NW

Has Renee had a boob job? (Renee Zellwegger) Pg 30, Famous

Jen’s fat hell (Jennifer Garner) Pg 82, Famous

I’ve been a bit slack posting photos of our advent activities over the last few days, so allow me to make amends by providing you with hyperlink heaven … Friday and the totally controversial activity from Saturday are now in their rightful places. You can also take a peek at Pilchen’s magnificent fortress of solitude, but the page is the same as Saturday, so really I’m just being a smart ass (surprising, really!)

Yesterday was the second horrendously hot day in a row, and Miss M, Mr Dog and I walked a long way in the heat to take her to Alex’s birthday party, which normally would have been magnificent, but the red cheeked child I picked up was fairly shattered. Happily, I’d given her one of our favorite 1.5 litre bottles of water to keep her sane. I’ve never met anyone who drinks as much water as that girl. Mr Dog and I walked home, and he took the opportunity to thrown himself in the river a few times, and again when we’d picked her up. Smart dog.
Yesterday afternoon was an organisational nightmare, thanks to Miss M’s papa being stuck up in the bushfire zone filming for SBS news. Because I work on Sunday afternoon, she’s usually with him, so I had to organise a tag team of babysitters (no one human being can deal with the child for more than a couple of hours), comprised of my magnificent next door neighbours, Harry and Mieke, and my wonderful brother James, who is always there for me in any kind of crisis. So Miss M spent Sunday night with me for the first time in months, resulting in me having to cancel some work, but it was worth it to see her smiley face this morning.

This afternoon she’s grading for her orange belt in Karate, which will mean she’s the highest ranked student, and the only girl ever in the Richmond Kenpo school. We practiced a bit over the weekend, and she is deadly. I’m planning to reward her with Peking Duck from one of our favorite Vietnamese BBQ restaurants, which will be as much of a reward for me as her.

So for the rest of the afternoon I’m planning my yoga class, doing the weekly review of mags, and making a salad out of chickpeas, rocket, feta, tomatoes, with lemon, olive oil and garlic dressing. Those of you who are observant may have noticed the lack of the Top Five Newsletter over the last couple of weeks - it’ll be returning in the new year, with more yoga poses, recipes and exercise tips. If you have any exercise related questions in the meantime, please feel free to post a comment, and I’ll reply.

Today I’m loving: the possibility of rain

When Miss M and I headed off to the supermarket early this morning, we could smell the smoke from the bushfires. All day the sky has looked like it’s going to rain, but not because of any kind of cloud. It’s nearly 9pm, and finally there’s a breeze and it’s cooled off from being 37 degrees (maybe even more). We braved the heat and went to a picnic this afternoon. We very nearly cancelled, owing to hysterical tears from Miss M, and general malaise from me, but I’m so glad we went. It was the most fun I’ve had in ages, especially considering I only drank two centimetres of wine, right at the end, and that was only because I’d been shot by two consecutive water pistols, and figured I needed a restorative.

One of my friends played Santa, and everyone took presents to be distributed to their children. Miss M realised who Santa was, and I later confessed to buying her the present myself. I was worried she might start putting two and two together, but as we got off the tram, we met another Santa who was going into the Terminus (possibly to have a few beers, that suit must be hot!). Santa smiled and said “I know you”, and I stupidly replied “Really? Who are you?”, as Miss M nudged me in the ribs and said in an embarrassed whisper “Mummy, that’s Santa!” And he looked a lot less convincing than Al had at the park.

So I’ve been to two parks today, played an insane game of Tiggy this morning, made water balloons, been hit with water balloons, Miss M and I drank 4.5 litres of water in a three hour space of time, and we blew bubbles as we waited for our tram home, while a certain girl went crazy trying to burst them all. All in all, a fine day.

Last night’s sleepover, although well planned ended with us sleeping in our own bed, as Miss M got terrified of Pilchen staring at her from under the table, and insisted we go back upstairs. Good, because the bed is so much more comfortable than the floor. Bad because downstairs is so much cooler. Before we called it quits we still managed to play a game of truth or dare (most enlightening) and have the biggest pillow fight.

Today I’m loving: sunscreen

Perhaps it was a little foolish of me to make today’s advent calendar activity a sleepover downstairs with a midnight feast. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now, after an emotionally and physically gruelling yoga class, and dinner with Miss M and her best friend Alex, I feel soooo tired I just want to crawl into my sleeping bag and crash.

Miss M on the other hand, has written an itinerary for our evening, involving truth or dare, a giant pillow fight and various other American sleepover activities. Still, I have to keep remembering the advent calendar is for her - so what’s a bit of truth or dare before I get to hit the hay?

This afternoon we experienced recycling at it’s finest, as someone had left out a two tier cat scratching post on the street. Pilchen’s post has been ripped to shreds by her vicious claws, so after inspecting this new one for suspect stains or odours, we decided to bring it home. Initially Pilchen was indifferent, then suddenly pounced on it, leaping on all the tiers, tearing into it, and attacking me from various heights. Again - think I should have known better.

The ladies in the Spanish deli are definately being friendlier - I asked for empanadas today, and they were amused I’d requested anything other than my usual ham and olive oil roll.

I’ll post photos of today’s advent activity tomorrow, as I’m being dragged away for the sleepover.

Today I’m loving: the Cosmopolitan I had with dinner tonight.

Day three of dizziness - now it’s personal! I had to cancel today’s training session with Steve, and yoga tomorrow is looking dicey. I’m chugging olive leaf extract like it’s going out of fashion and hoping it’s healing properties weave their magic soon.

On a more pleasant note, as I write this, Miss M is watching a DVD of The Muppet Show which I found at Kmart today. I’ve been telling her how I watched it when I was little, when it was an end of weekend treat, and I was in love with Floyd the saxaphone player. My super cool father also liked it, so we’d always watch it together. Just hearing the theme music makes me smile, and Miss M is being captivated by some bizarre creatures singing “manamana”. She’s also eating ham and dolmades - still my idea of heaven.

I found out today one of our neighbours died last week. I’m not sure what his name was, but he used to walk three dogs who were known as “the naughty dogs”, since one of them always tried to attack Mr Dog. He’d always say “he won’t hurt ya”, as Jasper (the naughtiest dog) lunged repeatedly for Mr Dog with obviously evil intent. Interesting I know the dog’s name but not the man’s. On sunny days we’d always chat about the weather, and he’d ask “how ya goin’?”

Quite a while ago, part of the track along the river where dogs are walked was suddenly blocked off by a fence which had a dubious legality. According to the owner of an industrial building, the track belonged to him, but users of the track had other opinions. While the council was trying to work out what to do, the fence stayed up, meaning anyone taking their dog along the track had to go back along Victoria Street to continue along the river, adding an annoying ten minutes, and an ugly detour to their walk.

One day the man and I were discussing the fence, and he told me it had been pulled down. I asked how he knew, and he told me his kids had done it. In fact, they’d ripped it down three times (it had been replaced twice), which led to the owner finally agreeing the land should belong to the people, and settling up with the council quite amicably.

Apparently he died suddenly while walking along a beach in Queensland, and suffered no pain. A great way to go. So I’d like to dedicate this post, and many pleasant thoughts to a man who was a good neighbour, and raised community minded children - even if his dog didn’t like mine.

Today I’m loving: even though it seems slightly shallow, slanty tweezers

I hate being late, especially when it’s to work. Today, because I’m still feeling vaguely inhuman, I decided to catch a tram back to the gym for my lunchtime yoga class instead of riding my bike. It seems I made a bad move, because the second tram (which was scheduled to come within two minutes of my arrival at the tramstop) didn’t arrive. I, along with a whole bunch of other disgruntled commuters, waited for ages, then I looked at my watch and worked out I could walk to Hunt’s and still be there on time.

Usually Murphy’s law says as soon as you start walking, the tram will come, and you’ll be too far away from a stop to catch it. Today Murphy’s law was in an especially ironic mood, as two trams came down Brunswick street, but both of them were wearing the evil double zero - or “special” title, meaning no passengers were allowed to get on. Every tram stop I passed was crammed with cursing, fist shaking people, watching the tram driver slyly smile as he whizzed by - that bastard!

So anyway, I walked as fast as I could down Brunswick Street, but since I was still slightly dizzy, I just couldn’t quite go at my normal pace. I ended up ringing Hunt’s and asking Natasha (the delightful new receptionist) to tell my yoga attendees I’d be there soon, but slightly late. It was only three minutes in the end, but as I ran in the door, mentally shrieking “calm blue ocean” to myself, it was pretty hard to pull out a zen yoga class. I also realised at the last minute that I’d left the music at home. But, as so often happens, after collecting my thoughts and getting my breath back, the class worked perfectly, even without music.

So tonight I’m having a bath and going to bed early. Miss M is spending the evening with her papa, so I’m planning to be asleep by 8.30pm at the latest. How tragic, but how true!

Today I’m loving: the idea of using my new Jurlique allegedly beautifying mask. God knows I need some help!

When I woke up this morning I had an ominous feeling my hangover was back. However, even I know that’s impossible, so I think I’m dealing with some sort of strange virus-y thing. I feel okay until I start doing things, and while teaching the Yummy Mummy class this morning, I honestly thought I was going to pass out between lying down and getting up - and not just from awesome abdominal work.

I was dreading teaching Spin this afternoon, because let’s face it, the class is all about trashing yourself - even if you’re taking it easy. Anyone who’s read my previous posts on competitiveness will appreciate how hard it is for me to back off, but I discovered a new way of doing things today, which was working everyone else so hard they didn’t really have time to look at what I was doing. I cruised for most of the class, then spent the last few minutes working harder. I almost felt better, but after Spin there’s a short abdominal class, and while getting down onto the floor, I felt horribly dizzy again. Normally, I would have done the abs with everyone else, but because I didn’t want to pass out, I abstained (tee hee!)

So I don’t know what’s going on, but hopefully it goes away soon. Miss M was complaining of feeling unwell during Karate yesterday, so I’m wondering if it’s the same thing. Anyway, I have time before picking her up to nap for a while, so that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

Today I’m loving: an hour to rest!

(I haven’t posted a photo of today’s advent activity, because feet are not attractive, so you’ll just have to use your imagination. To help you, I’ll specify the polish is bright blue)

OK, Page 88 - Body Talk with: Carmen Electra
Ah, Carmen Electra - since I own all her Fit to Strip DVD’s, there’s no point in pretending I don’t love her unique blend of trashiness and cool. While I love celebrity workout stories, it’s always tough reading about a celebrity who started out as a dancer, and is genetically gifted. So when Carmen says she can’t walk past a tray of chocolates or cupcakes, and admits she drinks between eight and nine cans of coke a day (wrong in anyone’s language), please don’t think you can do this and look like her.

She also says she hates her stomach, and looking at these photos, I think most women would kill to have one that looked like this. So Carmen, I love your DVD’s (even though I can’t remember the choreography), but I’m a little disturbed by your body talk. ***

NW, Page 68 - The Lunchbox Makeover

Article on healthier lunch options from chains like Subway, Maccas and Muffin Break. Good advice, but it would be easier (and cheaper) to make your own and be totally in control. ***

Famous, Page 64 - Dine In, Take Away?

Obviously NW and Famous are on the same wavelength this week, since this article is about making healthy choices when eating out. This one goes by nationality, and also has a fast food section. Much more complete than the previous article, this gives best and worst options, and top tips for what to avoid. Good advice with lots of dishes to choose from. ****

Woman’s Day, Page 79 - Healthy Summer Treats

Pardon me for feeling smug while reading these summer treats, but I’ve included the pizza and fruit iceblocks in previous Top Five newsletters. This article is about making healthy food with your kids, and also gives a recipe for fruit kebabs (maybe I’ll steal this one for later). Obviously I have to give this *****

Page 76, Keep Your Cool

Worth a read article about dehydration during the summer. Especially important if you’re planning on doing lots of exercise when the weather is hotter.

Page 80, Shift Those Stubborn Kilos

Great advice on how to get over a plateau in your weight loss program, all of which I’ve advised my clients to use on various occasions. I also love the mini-article on getting rid of cellulite, which doesn’t once mention using any creams - just give sensible advice which will actually work and doesn’t cost a fortune. The full shebang for this one *****

New Idea, Page 67 - Strike a Pose

Five great reasons to do more yoga. These are just a handful - the benefits are practically endless, and even modern medicine is admitting yoga can help with conditions like depression, arthritis, and people with serious stress related conditions. As this article says, it’s the perfect exercise for the unfit, inflexible, old, young - everyone! Stay tuned on Wednesday for a new yoga pose in this week’s Top Five newsletter. *****
Page 68, Running on Empty

This article is based on studies indicating people are turning to vitamins rather than getting nutrients from food. Restrictive diets and bad food choices are also blamed for making people deficient in certain vitamin groups. Advice on how much food to eat for the recommended daily intake of nutrients appears at the end of the article. ****

Page 75, Get Fit With Guy

Guy dispels some diet and exercise myths. Good stuff from Guy, but I disagree with him on the water drinking advice. He reckons thirst is our natural warning system for needing to drink, but by the time we feel thirsty, we’re usually dehydrated. It’s not a bad thing to preempt the need to drink, especially since so few of us get the hydration we actually need. I do agree fruit and veggies play a part in hydration, but again, a lot of us just don’t eat enough of them to make a difference.

Weight Related Headlines This Week:

Famous:

New Diet and New Men - Page 12 (Jessica Simpson)

Chubby Val has some real cheek - Page 84 (Val Kilmer)

Ellen stacks it on - Page 88 (Ellen Pompeo)

NW:

Surgery Obsessed Ashlee - “I want butt implants” - Page 34 (Ashlee Simpson)

(If you only have one weight related headline, that’s the one to have!)