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Some days my legs don’t want to ride my bike. This morning was one of those times, possibly because I rode to and from work three times yesterday, and taught spinning. So today, I caught a tram instead of riding to teach yoga. Luxurious, AND entertaining. Before I left, I made a shopping list, and in a shocking display of organisation, went to the supermarket on the way home.

Yesterday in desperation for some sort of direction with domestic chores, I bought a cookbook. I figure it’s like having a personal trainer - although I know I have to do it, I don’t want to have to think about it at the moment. So I’m handing over control of my cooking to Bill Granger, at least for the forseeable future. Today I’m making haloumi and roasted capsicum ciabatta with rocket and hummus, which I probably could have come up with myself, but didn’t.

It’s sunny outside, so we might even take the ciabatta down to the park and let Mr Dog run around. He swam again yesterday, retrieving a huge stick which he’s brought home, so I’m not sure what he’ll retrieve today.
Miss M took these photos yesterday - it was hot, she was bored and decided to make herself look sick. Mission accomplished, especially the one where she looks like the child in The Grudge movies (Sickness #1)

Today I’m loving: Lindt chocolate with Cointreau, which was on sale for $1.75. And it didn’t taste any less fabulous!

1. Use essential oils to change your mood. If you’re feeling tired or stressed, there are some really simple and gorgeous smelling essential oils you can vaporise or add to a bath to alter how you’re feeling. Lavender is fantastic for de-stressing, and citrus oils are great for energising. You can also buy great preblended oils which take the guess work out of mixing them yourself, and mean you don’t have to buy heaps of oils you then might not use.

If you’re going to use oils in the bath, you need to add something to the water to disperse them. Baking soda is my favorite - it’s cheap, and you just grab a handful, add the oils to it, and throw it under the running water. This makes sure the oils won’t just sit on top of the water. Milk is also a good disperser, or you can buy a product made especially for that purpose.

2. Eat smaller meals more often. If you’re eating three main meals a day, chances are you’re getting hungry in between them and might find yourself drawn to sugary or high fat foods as snacks. Try eating five or six smaller meals - cut down on the three main ones, and add two or three substantial snacks - to keep your blood sugar regular. The snacks can be as simple as a sandwich with chicken and a heap of salad, some fruit and yoghurt, or a salad with a small tin of tuna added to it.

3. Warm up before exercise. Heaps of people don’t warm up, but it’s really important to make sure your muscles are ready to work before you start exercising at a higher than normal intensity. Five to ten minutes is a perfect amount of time - if you’re outside a leisurely jog will work, or even a power walk if you don’t want to burn up too much of your energy. Don’t go too crazy - remember it’s only a warm up, and a few stretches won’t go astray either.

4. If you’re feeling like you can’t get enough rest and are worn out by work and other commitments, set aside an hour and go and have a massage. It’s amazing how much stress our bodies can hold without us realising, and a professional massage can make a huge difference to energy, sleep quality, and general wellbeing. Consider it a necessary treat.

5. This week’s yoga pose - Upward/Downward Cat. AKA cat/cow pose, happy cat/angry cat, this pose is one of those ubiquitous yoga poses everyone has seen before. That doesn’t mean it’s not a great one to perk you up in the mid afternoon, especially if you’re sitting at a desk all day, or are just finding your back is feeling tired.

From all fours, make sure your wrists are in line with your shoulders, and your spine is as neutral as it can be (not tilted or arched). As you inhale, look up, and drop your stomach down, which is known as hyperextension of the spine, and should move your tailbone (aka bottom) up at the same time.

Downward Facing Cat - as you exhale, tuck your chin down towards your chest, and move your tailbone towards the floor. This will arch your back, and move your spine into flexion.

It’s important not to force your spine into too much flexion or extension. Flow with your breathing, and feel your back become less tight as you move through the range of motion that’s right for you.

Make sure you keep your shoulders strong, and not hunched over. If you have pain in your shoulders, you can do this pose with your forearms on the floor.

Please note, if you have any condition of the spine which restricts either spinal flexion or extension, this pose is NOT suitable for you.

OK, Megan Gale’s Body Secrets, Page 87

Megan Gale has a smokin’ bod, and she’s got a great attitude about working out. She does it to feel good, rather than being obsessed about her weight - admittedly much easier when you’re genetically gifted. She has a great range of activities encompassed in her training, jogging, boxing, Pilates, swimming and surfing.

I like the idea of exercising outside, and not relying on a gym all the time. It keeps things interesting, and as she says, “nature is a great distraction”.

Her diet’s sensible as well, except the old “no carbs in the afternoon” idea reappears. Sticking to simple, varied foods with lots of veggies is a great way to eat. She also drinks lots of water, and occasionally eats chocolate and icecream. I give this *** (I’ve just started using Firefox, and I can’t find the insert characters option, so asterisks are going to have to do for now)

NW, Survive Party Season Pg 74

Tips for getting through the myriad of work do’s and Christmas parties, while still having a good time. Fairly classic advice, like eat before you go out, choose mixers that aren’t loaded with calories, and going for the best food choices. Good ideas. ***

New Idea, Light Signals, Pg 58

Not so much a fitness article, but rundown of a new food labelling system which should theoretically make it easier to choose healthier options. Based on a traffic light system, green will mean the food is nutritious, low in fat, sugar and salt. Amber means the food has some good nutrients, but is a less nutritious choice. Red foods are high in things that should be avoided, and are more of a sometimes food.

I like this idea, which means choosing the right food isn’t an exercise in knowing scientific names for things, working out manufacturer’s tricks to make you think something’s healthier than it is, or just having to think more than you’re capable of at the time - if I’ve been at work all day and need to grab something in a hurry, I don’t want to be standing around reading labels for ages. It’s interesting to note this system will mean some manufacturers will be forced to display a label recommending consumers buy less of their foods. The for and against opinions in the article are worth reading. ****

Get Fit With Guy, Pg 90

Guy talks about Australia being the third fattest nation in the world, and his listing of common foods and their kilojoule count could have some clues as to why. ***

Woman’s Day, 10 Eating Tips for The Festive Season, Pg 76

Some really good suggestions for surviving the inevitable overindulging of the Christmas period. I like the way this article is realistic about what most people do, and gives sensible advice for how to minimise any feelings of guilt (or heaps of weight gain) and just enjoy yourself. ****

Celeb Body, Charlize Theron, Pg 77

Interesting article about Charlize Theron’s workout regime, but I’m not suggesting you follow what she does, which includes: gaining 13 kgs for “Monster”, then working out for six days a week, five hours a day to lose the 13kgs. She likes to eat realistically, and tries to balance what tastes good and what’s good for her. That part I like! **

This week I’m introducing a new topic to the weekly review, which is a listing of headlines about various stars weight issues/battles/successes, because it seems there are an awful lot of them.

OK - On the mend? Nicole Ritchie seems to be on the road to recovery at last … Pg 32

NW - Nicole’s gastric bypass scandal Pg 25

NW - David’s (Guest) shock claim “I’m an anorexic” Pg 30

Woman’s Day - “I starve myself to look like Posh” Pg 43

Famous - Secret surgery (Nicole Ritchie) Pg 21

Famous - The Skinny on Posh - Pg 88

I managed to get through the G20 protests, and the Johnston Street Fiesta with sanity intact. Everything seems disturbingly normal and quiet now - and Johnston Street was unbelievably clean this morning, given the fiesta didn’t finish ’til late last night. Say what you will about Yarra Council (and I often do), but they can pull out the big guns when they have to.

We’ve just come home from Miss M’s karate class, where she won class achiever for about the fourth week running. Although I’m proud of that, I was more proud watching her break two boards quite effortlessly in her black gi that’s at least a size too small.

It’s been hideously hot today, and I rode home from work as huge drops of rain were starting to come down, but they stopped after only a few seconds. Mr Dog and I went for a walk, but I felt bad making him run, so I threw a giant stick he’d selected into the river about fifteen times, feeling jealous that he could just leap in without contracting some terrible disease (although glad at the same time).

This morning after I finished work I went to the Spanish deli to get another roll. My transaction went a little like this:

Emma walks through the door just after 9am. Two Spanish women behind the counter glance at me, then exchange a look.

Emma: Hi, I just wanted to get a roll with ham and olive oil please.

Silence, as a roll is selected and cut open with vigour. I see Portuguese custard tarts in the bakery part of the shop. Plan to buy three.

Lady: No cheese. (a statement not a question)

Emma: No thank you.

Lady: You want the cheap stuff, or the good ham? (she was holding a knife, and I wondered for a moment if it was a life or death decision)

Emma: The good ham, thank you.

More cutting. The roll, looking like a holy object, is thrust out.

Lady: Three dollars.

Emma: Could I also have three Portuguese custard tarts please?

I could have sworn I heard swearing as a paper bag was ripped off a string and three tarts were jammed inside.

Lady: And?

Emma: That’s all, thank you.

I guess part of the enjoyment of going there is coming out alive - and the tarts which are totally out of this world and usually sell out within minutes of being unloaded.

Fortified by food, I managed to pay a huge amount of money off my credit card, and do various other household things which are repulsive to me. Monday’s yoga class was, as always, wonderful, due to the gorgeous participants, and the fan which cooled our tiny room beautifully. Dinner tonight was to be lamb shanks (part of my discount meat haul), but it’s just too hot, so instead we’re going to Loi Loi with James.

Today I’m loving: free giveaways with magazines!

Some years ago, when I was still working on Blue Heelers, and before Miss M came into the world, I worked on a documentary for a friend of mine. It was about Elvis impersonators, who prefer to be called “tribute artists”, but as they say on the Simpsons “hillbillies prefer to be called sons of the soil, but it ain’t gonna happen”. My friend Greg had the most insane energy and vision for this doco, and I think we ended up with about 60 hours of footage, but no real idea of what the through line might have been.

I played the part of interviewer. While transcribing those tapes I got a terrifying insight into how many times I said the words “fantastic” and “uh-huh”. I’m sure there were others as well, but I may have blocked them out of my mind. There’s so much I’ve forgotten, but I do remember walking through a tiny house in Williamstown, being shown a wardrobe of Elvis suits which were worth a fortune, handmade by a guy who looked like he should be a wrestler, and thinking “okay, what the hell do I say to this?” I also remember a performance by the youngest, handsomest “Elvis”. I was in the audience waiting to interview him after the show, and as he sang one of the King’s ballads, he took my hand and I felt some kind of electric jolt. Truly disturbing!

We went to such auspicious events as the Parkes festival, in a town in NSW where there’s an annual weekend dedicated to Elvis Presley, with events mainly occurring at the Graceland reception centre. The parade of Elvis style cars was also a big draw card. Every shop had a display, everyone dressed up, and we were invited to about thirty places for dinner, being considered celebrities in town.

We went to the Rooty Hill RSL, various other RSL’s which I’ve forgotten the names of, and even to Canberra. I remember driving in the freezing cold, having to have all the windows down so the rented car didn’t fog up. Repacking camera gear several times before being able to board a plane home so we met baggage requirements. Ah, good times. And I did it all for free. What was I thinking?

If you’re wondering where I’m going with this, it’s really just a huge preamble to asking you to click on this link. I saw it on youtube (please don’t ask why), and was reminded of the eighteen months of my life where most of my spare time was given up to talking about, thinking about, watching people pretend to be, and having nightmares about Elvis. And here he is, as I like to remember him. Please wait until 1.35mins, which is where the good stuff is.

When I last heard from Greg, he was working on Arrested Development as a cameraman, and I have no doubt his energy and enthusiasm were put to good use. He talked about using the footage as the basis of some kind of feature film he was going to write, but I don’t know if it ever happened.

So please enjoy this 1977 performance with my compliments, and recall those brave “tribute artists” who work so hard to make sure this isn’t the face of Elvis you see!

Today I’m loving: mango and strawberries, chopped up together.

I’ve spent the better part of today modelling myself on Sophia Loren, circa early 1960’s, achieved through my gorgeous discount Target dress, and makeup, including red lipstick which has been reapplied twice! Those of you who know me well may suffer some sort of heart palpitations at the news, but it’s true. In part, it’s because my phone has been cut off due to some kind of misunderstanding with my phone company. It’s a long story, stemming from their online billing department needing to get it’s act together, and make a mental note not to cut the customer off once their bill’s been paid. There’s no one there over the weekend to rectify the problem, so it’s only my trusty mobile keeping me in touch with the rest of the world. And this page of course. But when your phone’s cut off, you need to look fabulous - it’s just common sense.

Even more strangely, I’ve enjoyed it. So after the market (where I got a lot more attention than usual from stallholders of the male persuasion), Miss M and I jumped on a tram to take advantage of Target’s dress sale. A lack of knowledge of current events took us into the heart of the G20 protest, which was fairly confronting for someone of my age, so I can only imagine what Miss M made of it. I spent some time trying to explain the concept of globalisation, world finance and socialism to her, but I think what she was most focussed on was the police in riot gear, protesters yelling, and a surfeit of batons. She was worried it meant there would one day be a war in Melbourne, and as I assured her there wouldn’t, I was thinking “please let me be right”.

Of course, you must follow intense political education with shopping. Then because we were both starving, we headed to our favorite place to eat in the whole city and consumed various dumplings until we were full. And now we’re home and exhausted, but I’ve promised a trip to the pool so a new pair of bathers can be broken in. I’m hoping there may be a nap in the meantime - and Miss M might sleep as well (boom boom - to quote Basil Brush).

Please observe photographic evidence of my glamorousness below, which like the Loch Ness Monster is not often seen. I appear to be disturbingly without humour, but I blame the camera, which on this occasion lied.

Today I’m loving: Miss M, for convincing me to dispense with buying another red and white dress, and go for the blue one instead.

I’m about to go and pick Miss M up from Alex’s place, but I thought I’d write a post first, since I’m often accused of loving my computer more than her. This morning we had an argument, because she hadn’t got ready for school when I’d asked her to. There was shouting, and then later tears from both parties, so tonight I’m taking her out to dinner to make it up to her. I’m going to make it up to myself by having a giant Cosmopolitan, possibly two, and to make it even nicer, James is coming with us.

Even after a shaky start, today ended up being great. I saw four clients back to back, then went to yoga, which was beyond words incredible. Afterwards I ran back to Hunt’s from Elizabeth Street, quite an achievement for a personal trainer who hates running. Another client, then I rode home. It’s hard not to love Friday, as it’s always followed by my only day of not working, and marks more than 24 hours between going back to the gym. This weekend is the Johnston Street fiesta, which means it’ll probably take me about fifteen minutes to get 100 metres up the street on Sunday afternoon. This time I’m going to buy an empanada to keep me company on the journey, and leave my bike at home.

It’s so gorgeous outside I think after dinner we might take Mr Dog down to the river, and throw a ball for him so he can swim in the dirty water which he loves. I’d love to live near a beach, so he could get squeaky clean when he swam, but the Yarra has a bizarre charm of its own. For one, I can throw a ball from one side to another, which I’d be hard pressed to do anywhere else. Melbourne’s really been living up to its reputation of crazy weather this week - yesterday was more miserable than I can believe, and today is just sublime. Apparently the weekend will be fabulous, which I can’t wait for. Perhaps we’ll have a barbeque tomorrow, which we haven’t done for ages - better get that rump steak out of the freezer …

Today I’m loving: Carlton Gardens, as I ran through this afternoon. What a gorgeous place - even as a blur.

Tonight one of my friends dropped over after going to the Japanese Bath House (sorry about the hyperlink, but I’ve just learned how to write the HTML, so I’m feeling quite proud), so we drank liquorice tea and hung out for a while, which meant Miss M and I went to the supermarket quite late. At Victoria Gardens (note lack of hyperlink) where our supermarket is, there’s currently a snowdome, where Santa is ensconced in an amazing red and white plastic round bubble. Miss M, who has always purported to be “over Santa”, was very excited, so was allowed into said snowdome to commune with the almighty present giver.

I expected her to be in and out within a brief space of time, but she got comfy on Santa’s couch, and the two of them chatted for over ten minutes. Because of the plastic dome, I had an oddly bird’s eye view of them, and Miss M was animatedly moving her hands around, laughing and smiling in response to whatever Santa was saying. The woman presiding over the door (I’m not sure whether she can be termed a door bitch or not) came around to look at them, and remarked on how well they were getting on. Motherly pride came to the fore as Santa was obviously enjoying his time with my exceptionally social daughter, and she came out laden down with chocolate and an inflatable ball (and the promise of a bike for Christmas). I asked what they’d talked about and she was vague on details, but did tell me “I said please so many times the word lost all meaning”.

Work today was exceptionally satisfying. I had the best turnout of Yummy Mummies to date, and in a strange coincidence, trained two partners of clients of mine. It’s a huge compliment to have someone recommend you to a friend, but even more so to their significant other, so I felt very flattered. One was just visiting from Sydney so her session was a one off, but the other will be ongoing, which is awesome.

I also trained myself today, and worked hard. Props to Ben for the awesome spotting while I was benching, which spurred me on to at least two extra reps, and a halfway decent comedy routine during a rest break. The only weak point of the day was the purchase of a jar of pesto (which I agonised over for about ten minutes), which tastes like crap. It was expensive, so I’m even more annoyed about it, and as of this moment, I’m taking a vow never to buy preprepared pesto ever again.

Tomorrow I have a luxuriously late start, and a fully packed day, which is back to back clients in the morning, yoga for an hour and a half, then more clients in the afternoon. Perfect!

Today I’m loving: life in general, after a couple of weeks of thinking “yeah, whatever”.

It’s freezing! I can’t believe I wore an overcoat, scarf and gloves today - and was still cold. I cast a skeptical eye over the weather report yesterday, and couldn’t believe it would only be 14 degrees today (it only reached 13), so I rode to work without gloves, and was rewarded with icicle hands (and ears, but that wasn’t due to lack of gloves). Riding home later in the day, I got totally soaked. It hailed, rained, was crazily windy. It’s just like winter, only colder.

Class attendance is always affected by the weather, and only one brave soul turned up for lunchtime yoga. It was nice to teach such an intimate class, and I got to do lots of adjusting which is sometimes hard with bigger groups.

I spent some time this afternoon working on my business, which always makes me feel oddly grown up. So much of my day is just moving between writing programs, training people or teaching classes, and spending time with Miss M, it feels strange to plan ahead. But exciting too. Tomorrow I’m going to plan my week, mostly in a domestic sense. That’s right, I’m going to schedule in cleaning time, even if it kills me.

After exhausting the business part of my brain, I needed to chill out, so I watched an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, one of my all time favorite series (except for season seven, which I believe sucked). This one was from season six, where Buffy has a perverse relationship with Spike, the drop dead gorgeous vampire. Ah living vicariously … I don’t get much Buffy time these days, because it’s totally unsuitable for Miss M, so this was a fabulous treat. How tragic!

Fingers crossed I make it to and from work tomorrow without getting too rained on. I’ve got gloves and a beanie ready for action, so at least my extremities will stay warm, if not dry. I’m also going to eat a delicious breakfast of rye toast with avocado and tomato, which should fuel my internal fire. At least ’til I can get to the coffee machine.

Today I’m loving: discovering some great frozen dumplings at a Vietnamese supermarket. And then steaming and eating them!

My brother has a theory about creating interest from other people by using something he’s coined “hornbuckling”. Basically, it’s a cool name for “treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen”. Currently, I’m finding myself in the unique position of both hornbuckler, and hornbucklee. Obviously with different people, because I think it would be impossible to be both things to the same person, but it’s an interesting experiment. As the hornbucklee, I find myself fascinated and magnetised, and as the hornbuckler, I’m totally getting off on the power trip. I don’t quite know where either of the situations will lead, but it’s an interesting journey.

I’ve just had a bath that was too hot, and am feeling oddly out of sorts. Tired, but also something else underlying the tiredness - heat exhaustion maybe? I’m really bad at judging temperature, and since I’d taught Spinning this afternoon I thought hot would be better. Hmm, must remember not to be seduced by that thinking next week. I compounded the heat by having an extremely brief, but totally freezing shower afterwards.

Today I taught my last Tuesday exercise class at Finbar, which was very sweet and sad, but I managed to keep the crying to only a few subtle tears. I came away with the most huge bunch of gorgeous flowers which are in my kitchen, dwarfing everything else and reminding me of my beautiful friends. So next Tuesday, it’s a new Yummy Mummie’s class at Hunts. I saw my interview in “Mother’s Matters” today, which is HUGE, and very exciting. I also managed to sound quite intelligent! I may have to start a clippings section …

I’ve spent the day with only one earring on, which is quite annoying, as it’s a big hoop, and I’m worried everyone’s been thinking I’m trying to look like a pirate. I’ve found the other one now, which came off while I was sleeping, but since it’s after 7pm, any pirate resemblance has already been firmly implanted in people’s minds. Hopefully the lack of a parrot or wooden leg made it slightly less obvious.

Only one hour of work tonight, which is OK with me. Tomorrow I have to motivate myself to work out on my own, as Steve is away for the week. In a tragic way I’m almost looking forward to it … almost. So think good workout thoughts for me between 8-8.30am as I curse under my breath, then check out my muscles afterwards.

Today I’m loving: my new super cool Juicy Couture tracksuit - the word tracksuit makes it sound horrid, but it’s tres sexy. I’ll be wearing it for the first time tomorrow.