health&fitnessfactorfiction.com

A weekly newsletter with health tips and a featured yoga pose

1. Drink more water. The classic wellness tip, but made all the more topical by the insane drought we’re going through at the moment. You always hear about drinking x litres, or glasses of water a day, but the secret is to constantly take small sips, instead of getting to the evening and realising you haven’t drunk enough, then chugging two litres! Large quantities at once will only result in heaps of visits to the toilet. Small sips will keep you hydrated all day, and especially if you’re in an airconditioned office, stop you from feeling too sapped of energy.

2. Have a substantial snack in the afternoon. Have you noticed how it’s always around 3.30pm when you feel like reaching for a packet of chocolate biscuits and eating the entire thing? When your blood sugar levels are low, your body craves quick fix sugar hits, which always make you feel temporarily better, but then make you crash soon after. If you have something about an hour and a half to two hours after lunch, this will keep your blood sugar levels nice and constant, and keep you away from the biscuit jar. Some good ideas to get started with:

Hoummus and ryvita (or any kind of wholegrain cracker)
Low fat yoghurt and some almonds or walnuts. Try to find a yoghurt that isn’t full of hideous chemicals to make it taste nice once the fat is all gone.
Toast with tomato, ricotta and avocado
Your favorite dip with a selection of salad veggies for dipping
Half a salad sandwich made with rye bread - you can add some turkey or ham if you like.

3. Breathe: I know, you hear this all the time, just like the “drink more water” tip. But next time you’re sitting at your computer and yawning, take a few moments to really breathe. Don’t force it, because you’ll instantly be tense. Close your eyes, and try to breathe slowly and deeply, inhaling for a count of four, and exhaling for a count of six. If that’s too long, just go with what feels right. Disturbingly, this is something we all need to practice. But the better you get at it, the less stress you’ll feel.

4. Roll your shoulders: most people I’ve written programs for work at computers, which usually means they have bad posture. Nearly everyone is stressed, and stress almost always means your shoulders are elevated. It’s not something you notice, until you find a way to make them go down, and then you realise how relaxed you feel. So try this (and if you do this, and breathe and drink water, you’ll feel great!): lift your shoulders right up to your ears, and circle them backwards, being conscious to really push them down as well as lift them up. Do it six times in one direction, then switch around and circle them in the other direction. You might hear some little noises as the joint moves in a way it’s not used to. You should feel your shoulderblades drop down your back. When you’ve finished, see if you can feel a difference. Next time you feel stressed, do this again.

5. This week’s yoga pose: 4-Part Supine Twisting Vine

One of my all time favorite poses. Fantastic for helping you relax when you’re stressed, and a gentle spine twist to help alleviate digestive problems. Depending how tight your upper back is, you may find you feel a stretch through the thoracic (back of the ribs) area as well.

A: Lie on the ground with your arms out at shoulder height. Bend your knees so your feet are flat on the floor, slightly wider than hip width apart. If you’re using a yoga mat, your feet should be almost on the edges of the mat.

B: Let your legs drape over to the right hand side. Don’t try to force them to the ground if they don’t go all the way there - it should just feel completely relaxing. Try to keep both shoulders on the ground. Stay here for five to ten breaths.

C: Keep your bottom leg where it is (this should be your right leg), and move your top leg so your foot is close to, or on top of your bottom knee. You can use your right hand to pull your left knee over a little more if it’s comfortable. Again, don’t force the movement. Breathe - five to ten breaths.

D: Slowly straighten your top leg, letting your foot come to rest on the floor if you can. Still trying to keep your shoulders on the ground, take five to ten breaths in this position, then slowly bring your knees back together, your feet back to the floor, repositioning them if you need to. Repeat A-D on the other side.

Please note: you should avoid this pose if you have a back injury or pain, hip replacement, or neck injury or pain. Please check with a doctor before commencing any form of exercise program, especially if you are pregnant, or have had an injury. No responsibility will be taken for injury resulting from these exercises.

Yesterday’s post was lost in a haze of red wine, as I succumbed to the hospitality of Alex’s parents Simon and Sue, who this term are picking Miss M up from school on Fridays. It was very pleasant, but I had left (very cleverly I thought at the time) dinner cooking in the oven when I went to get Miss M, accepted a glass of wine, then returned one and a half hours later to find my wonderful free range pork roast somewhat overdone (it was slated to cook for twenty five minutes). However, the crackling was magnificent.

Today was our typical market morning plus cartwheeling, but on the walk back home we discovered a jumping castle being set up at the school for Neighbourhood Watch Community Day. We checked all the houses in our street to see which ones had Neighbourhood Watch signs on them, and Miss M was very intrigued about the whole notion behind the idea. After lunch we headed down for a lot of jumping, some Burger Rings, which I haven’t eaten since I was about twelve (and now I remember why), and some rather wonderful face painting - see examples below. We also came home with our own Neighbourhood Watch sign to put up, but Miss M wanted to know what to do if someone crazy came around looking for help. I wasn’t really sure, but together we decided we’d let Mr Dog handle that situation.

After a long break, I’ve rediscovered the joys of listing things on eBay. I’m on a mission to get rid of the clothes, books and uncategorisable effluvia I’ve got in several piles around the house in the next two months, since I have a fantastic business idea to implement using eBay - but I have to get rid of my excess possessions first. It’s not only the $$ for things I no longer want that attracts me, but also writing the headline and description which prove seductive enough to make people want to buy.

Miss M is less impressed, and has accused me of loving the computer more than her. No matter how I explain the “means to an end” of on line auctioning, it doesn’t cut any ice. Now there’s loud stamping and throat clearing coming from the other room, which means we need to go to the park so she can run off her temper. Luckily Mr Dog will also enjoy it, and there might be some horses I can say hello to, so everyone should be happy … theoretically, anyway!

Today I’m loving: green tea perfume - delicious!

Windy and hot is the best way to describe Melbourne’s weather at the moment. Perfect for bushfires, not so perfect for bikeriding, or houses without cooling. For the first time in ages, the gym’s fired up the airconditioner, and you can pick the personal trainers by the extra layers we have to put on to stay warm.

Today I was interviewed about my Yummy Mummie’s class for a magazine. It’s a weird experience, and when I hung up the phone, I couldn’t help thinking I sounded like a total idiot. Did I answer the questions like I knew what I was talking about? Did I even make sense? Did I say way too much and come off like a know it all jerk? I guess only reading the article will tell me for sure. I feel passionate about the subject, and it’s a good class that people seem to enjoy, so hopefully that came across.

Yesterday I got a call from a mother’s group who want me to go and teach a trial class in Kew at the end of the month. Very exciting - the word is finally spreading. Hopefully many more mummies and babies will come my way and feel better for it!

In other news, Miss M’s knees are healing up beautifully, and my hair has been pushed down by my fabulous hat (thanks again, Timmy!), so all is as it should be in the world. Sadly Buddhist yoga classes have been cancelled for the next two weeks, as my teacher is going to Brisbane, but it means I get a chance to go and see Miss M’s swimming lessons, which is almost as good - just not quite as relaxing. I’ll have to practice Scorpion pose on my own and see if I can remember some chanting.

Today I’m loving: many things, but the recipe Jane emailed me this afternoon has to come out on top. Tonight we’re having dinner with our neighbours, but I’ll be making it tomorrow.

This morning I was given the most awesome present by Tim, one of my favorite clients, and as I like to call him, a star recruit in Ms Honey’s Rough Rangers. Tim is, as you may recall from my post about my tattoo, a tattooist. He’s from Canada (a Canadan, as Miss M would say), but does a great Aussie accent. I like to think I speak quite attractively, but sometimes Tim repeats things back to me using my accent, and I’m horrified. I told him once that I weighed ninety one kilos while I was pregnant, and now whenever he wants to tease me he’ll say “ninety one koilo”, which is allegedly what I said.

Anyway, back to my present. My Eurofro has become even more uncontrolled over the last few days - I look like I should be fronting a Wolfmother cover band. Today Tim presented me with a desert camouflage cap which not only covers my ‘fro in the best way, but over time, pushes it down (a little). Perhaps it didn’t quite go with the ballet pink top I had on, but I still wore it with pride. The hat actually took me over a little, and I found myself standing with my shoulders squared, demanding more reps than I normally would.

So I’m quite keen to adopt the hat as a trademark - with an all black outfit of course - no girlish ballet pink for me anymore. And perhaps I’ll have all my clients call me “sir” - it sounds so much tougher than “ma’am” …

Today I’m loving: miso soup after a great yoga class.

My working life revolves around my mobile. Appointments changing, new clients coming on board, classes getting covered - all would be impossible without my trusty hot pink flip phone. Today I got the call during work hours every parent dreads - from Miss M’s teacher, Kevin. Initially, I thought it was head lice related. There’s been an epidemic at school, and every child has been infected, reinfected, and probably has at least one louse in their hair at any given time. However, she’d tripped over walking back from swimming and had grazed both her knees quite badly. My heart beat even faster than it had during the spin class I’d just taught.

This is where I know I have the right job, because I was able to go and pick her up within twenty minutes, without having to worry about explaining to anyone why I needed to leave work. Since my next clients aren’t until 4.30pm, and they’re at Miss M’s school, I brought her home to watch bad tv and eat chocolate icecream - good for all ailments. She was probably fine to stay at school, but there are some occasions when a seven year old needs their mother, and I felt this was one of them. My mother would have picked me up, and she set a high benchmark for excellent parenting skills, which I can only hope to live up to.

So Miss M’s long legs are covered in unattractive bandaids, but she seems in good spirits, and I’m off to have a shower after tending to my invalid’s needs, since I segued straight from spin instructor to supermother without so much as a change of clothes.

Today I’m loving: Kevin, who’s always wonderful, reassuring and a fabulous teacher into the bargain. Thanks Kev!

Hooray, finally some really meaty articles in three of the weeklies.

New Idea, page 60, Hollywood Beach Bodies

A rundown on what the stars do to keep their bodies in great shape. Naomi Watts and Jennifer Aniston like to do yoga (don’t we all), but Jennifer’s blurb says “shoulder stands keep her shoulders looking sculptured”. Sorry, but shoulder stands really don’t use your shoulders at all - they work on balance, proprioception, and core work. Downward Dog, Triangle, any of the Warrior sequences would be great if you wanted to focus on shoulders, but the deal with yoga is balance between opposites, so if you have a good range of poses, your whole body will benefit. Boo to the Zone diet as well.

Elle McPherson’s diet is better - she follows a low GI plan - far more sensible, but apparently she uses cheese as her main source of protein, which is really strange, full of fat, and far less nutritious than lean meat, legumes or fish. Apparently she does 500 crunches a day, which is time consuming, and pointless. The Body needs someone to overhaul her core workout quickly! This article perpetuates the myth that ab exercise can change the shape of your stomach - it can’t! Especially if you eat that much cheese …

I like Eva Mendes approach, which is work hard, eat sensibly, and reap the rewards. Being genetically gifted also helps. “Everything in moderation is fine”. I agree.

This article is still full of the old “carbs are bad”, “eat raw food” diet myths, which is rubbish. Sure raw food is great, but so is cooked food if it’s the right kind. Carbs are great, if they’re the right kind. Try to educate yourself about what’s total crap, and limit the amount of times you eat it. It’s not rocket science.

On a positive note, there’s a plethora of exercise suggestions here: pole dancing (have you ever seen the upper body strength those women have?!!), surfing, yoga, Pilates, tennis, weights, running, bushwalking, judo, and Budokan are some of the things you could choose to try if you’re stuck for choices. Just please don’t eat too much cheese, or it won’t matter what you do.

Fairly mixed bag accuracy wise, so I’m giving it:

☆☆

Famous Magazine, Pg 64, Get Moving Again.

On page 64, Celebrity Overhaul’s trainer “P” has some advice for anyone thinking about getting into shape - and it’s good! Start off slowly and ease yourself into it, train with friends to help keep you motivated, and remember that if you’re moving, it counts as exercise - there’s no need to go berserk straight away. Checking with your doctor to make sure you’re okay to exercise is a smart idea, especially if you’ve taken a lot of time away from working out for any reason, like having a baby, illness or injury. Having correct equipment (shoes, non restrictive clothing, non-slip flooring) is also important.

P doesn’t ignore diet either, which is great. She also suggests employing a little positive imaging and thinking about yourself being the fitter person you want to be - great to get your brain involved. The idea of setting achievable goals is important too. All very much in snippet form, but great for anyone who wants usable suggestions on how to get back into things. I like the way she suggests using gyms, trainers and friends to help take the onus off you being the only one responsible for your exercise program. The more support you can get, the better!

Nice work P, informative and sensible advice. I give it:

☆☆☆☆

Woman’s Day

I’ve included this issue of Woman’s Day for a different reason. Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been checking out a lot of websites, and have become quite fascinated by Oprah Winfrey (www.oprah.com) Oprah’s insanely well publicised battles with her weight, both in the print media and on her show are known to almost everyone. Her website credits her trainer, Bob Greene, with helping her reach a sustainable level of not only weight loss, but good health. She claims she feels better at fifty than ever before. The site has several sections with exercise programs, and her trainer’s six week boot camp, as well as sensible eating plans.

This months Women’s Weekly magazine features a ten page Oprah diet and exercise special, with Oprah talking a lot about self esteem. This quote sums it up “Getting my lifelong weight struggle under control has come from a process of treating myself as well as I treat others in every way”. It accompanies an article on her philosophy of eating for pleasure, and analogies about the symbolism of putting junk into your body and what that does to you as a person. I have to admit I liked the article and respected what she was saying.

So I was honestly disappointed (and a little shocked) to see a photo of Oprah on the cover of this weeks’s Woman’s Day with the caption “Oprah collapses, new diet threatens her life”. Sure, I know magazines love to beat up stories, and most of us don’t really want to read about stars losing heaps of weight and keeping it off - that’s no fun. But the accompanying story claims she’s limiting herself to an insane amount of calories per day after a binge eating relapse.

So what’s happened to the woman who wrote that inspiring article? Where is the supportive trainer who helped her lose weight with a disciplined work ethic and sensible nutrition plan? Did she learn nothing from the time she trained with him? Does it make it easier or harder to lose weight when you’re wealthy, famous and have every professional at your disposal? How is this going to effect all the people who’ve used Oprah’s recent sensible approach to inspire themselves?

I’ll be interested to see where this story goes, and whether Oprah will comment on it herself. No stars, because that’s not what this is about.

Unlike the Boomtown Rats, I really like Mondays. I see several of my favorite clients, teach yoga to a great group of people, and get to watch my daughter learn Kenpo, a super-cool form of Karate. Today was just such a day, but I also learned two important lessons. 1. Don’t leave magazines in a bag with a broken egg. (The egg was in a carton, but it really didn’t make any difference) 2. Don’t put bacon in a frying pan to cook, then think you can go upstairs and sit in front of the computer for “just a couple of seconds”, because you can’t. Still, I’ll strive not to do either of those things again, so it’s not all for nothing.

I also learned that I’ve become used to feeling really, disgustingly healthy. I know this because last night when I came home from work, I wasn’t feeling crash hot. I’d started to feel slightly nauseaus between my second and third sessions (I wondered if it was psychosomatic, since I’d been talking about morning sickness with one of my pregnant clients), and then felt worse when I got home. This morning when I woke up, I was truly surprised to still feel bad. While it was only enough to be annoying, it’s good to appreciate that normally I feel on top of the world.

One of the great things about my job is that I love it so much, I could forget about not feeling great, and concentrate on my clients. By the time lunchtime rolled around, I’d almost forgotten I didn’t feel well. At my yoga class this afternoon, I decided to abandon my lesson plan, and instead taught some partner yoga, which was highly exciting for everyone involved. There’s something extremely satisfying about watching people step outside their comfort zones and succeed. And also great to know they trust you enough to try.

To finish off my fab Monday, I got a call from a magazine who want to interview me about my Yummy Mummies class which I’m highly excited about. Now all that’s left is to eat risotto, and savour my night at home with my Divine Miss M.

Today I’m loving: Heather, Barb, Gill and Kerry - you’re all fabulous!

Today Melbourne turned on its most perfect Spring weather. The bluest sky, still and superbly warm. Miss M and I accompanied our neighbour Mieke to the market, while her usual partner in crime, Harry was working. After coffee and shopping, Miss M requested our routine trip to the park, but was only interested in cartwheeling, so we spent a diverting fifteen minutes thinking up the most extravagant landings possible, and I discovered there’s no way I can do a cartwheel to the left.

We trammed into the city to Chinatown, and feasted on crab mini buns and prawn and pork won tons in soup with noodles. I was excited because the Hong Chew Society were performing Chinese opera upstairs, and I love the way the sound drifts out the windows and into the laneway where the restaurant is. There’s something very 1920’s, and at the same time, slightly seedy about it.

Afterwards, we went to Target, because I’d seen something I wanted to check out and possibly buy. It’s a statue of Buddha in female form, and is insanely pink. Please bear in mind that even though my description makes it sound hideous, it actually is kind of groovy.

Here’s a transcript of how the perusal went:

Me: Do you like this statue?

Miss M looks at statue, rolls her eyes.

Miss M: Hideous.

Me: Don’t you think it would look amazing in the living room?

Miss M: No normal person would want this in their house. (pause, then, looking directly at me) Nerd alert, Mummy.

Me: Are you sure? Look, what about this white one, or the gold coloured one?

Miss M: (louder) Nerd alert!

I looked hard at the statue. I still quite liked it, but the more I thought about it, the less I seemed to need it. So thanks to Miss M’s hardcore stance on non-nerdish decorating, I left Target without spending a cent. And feeling slightly humiliated …

We relaxed at home for a while (I needed time to recover my composure), then took yoga mats to the park by the river, accompanied by our lovely dog, Mr Boy. Mr Boy’s name is really Max, but my brother renamed him a while ago, and it suits him quite well. Next to the park is a large unoccupied block where horses are adjisted. They pull tourist carriages in the city, and when they’re not working, there are sometimes eight or nine of them in their urban paddock. Today there were two gorgeous white ones there, and they were happy to let me pat them for ages. Mr Boy wasn’t happy, he’s still a bit suss of the horses, so in deference to him, I stopped.

Miss M and I did some yoga, and said hello to an exceptionally cute young man who was walking three matching King Charles Cavalier Spaniels. He lay on the grass in the sun, and Miss M leaned over and whispered “those dogs’ owner is really cute” and I realised we were both watching him thinking the same thing. We hung around for a while longer, eyeing off the cute boy, lazing in the sun and loving the fact we live so close to one of the most perfect places on Earth.

Finally a toilet emergency brought our idyllic afternoon to a close, so we went home with Nasturtiums in our hair, and a dog wet from swimming in the river. Now I’m cooking lamb pizzas (yes, for the second time this week), and feeling very replete.

Today I’m loving: many things, but especially the dried cranberries I bought from the market - juicy, sweet and oddly tart. And, Miss M doesn’t like them, so I get to eat them all!

Today it was Miss M’s turn to be tired. It’s one of the biggest challenges as a parent to remember when your child turns into a hideous monster they’re usually (in the case of mine, anyway) either hungry, tired or if you’re really unlucky, both. Today after work, I picked my normally charming daughter up from her friend Alex’s house. They’ve known each other since kinder, and were actually married for several years, until Miss M left kinder to go to primary school. Alex has since gone to the same school, and while I don’t think they’ve renewed their vows, they’re definitely the best of friends.

I knew things weren’t looking good when I was greeted with a groan at the door, and the words “oh it’s you (said with particular disgusted emphasis on “you”) - I wanted to stay for dinner”. Since dinner hadn’t been offered, I thought I should put the kybosh on the idea, and asked if she’d like to go into the city to eat at one of our favorite places, Camy Shanghai Dumpling House, which has just reopened after alleged problems with “kitchen utensils and gas leak”. I believe that might be code for “the health inspector closed us down”, but I honestly don’t care. Their food is to die for (!), and judging by the state of my own kitchen, I am well primed to deal with filth.

My offer was ingraciously turned down, but she agreed to go to Loi Loi, our favorite close by Vietnamese restaurant, insisting on catching a tram. I said no, we’d walk, and suddenly there were tears. I managed to ask what the matter was in a calm, kind voice. The reply? “I just need some rest”. I was okay with that - I sometimes feel like I need some rest too. Then as we walked the last few metres home, my seven year old child disappeared, and was replaced by an angry ranting maniac. I realised going out anywhere was pure madness, so I heated some leftover soup, made toast, and left her to her own devices.

Fifteen minutes later the soup was eaten, and she was sound asleep, looking angelic and still wearing her school uniform. The house is now quiet, and I’m going to run a bath, read a trashy book and have a cup of coffee.

As a small aside, today’s yoga class was even more wonderful than I’d hoped. Fabulous chanting and scary inversions. What more could anyone ask for?

Today I’m loving: being able to have a bath for the first time since getting my tattoo done. Also not being as sore as I expected after being hammered by my trainer yesterday.

Today I’m weary. Not something I say often, but an extra night at work this week, and a foolishly scheduled 9pm session, (too) closely followed by a 6am start has left me feeling, to coin a phrase, rooted. Still, my week’s almost at an end, and tonight I’m planning an early night, followed by an almost luxurious 8.30am start tomorrow.

Tomorrow also marks the start of a new term of yoga at the Buddhist Centre, which is my all time favorite class to attend as a student. My friend Leisa and I joke that between us we’ve done nearly every type of yoga at every school in Melbourne - Ashtanga, Bikram, Raja, Iyengar, Hatha (a little known fact - all postural yoga is Hatha, it just goes under different substructure names), Kundalini, and Ki - but Buddhist yoga is something else.

I’ve had some of the most profoundly moving experiences there, discovered a love of complex Sanskrit chanting, and most of all, found pleasure in not forcing myself to compete - with anyone else in the class, or even (especially!), myself. It’s a disturbing mix of complex and simple, and I have to be conscious to not try too hard, or it becomes something else entirely, but for those moments where I’m just being (which sounds incredibly wanky, but it’s the best description) it’s awesome.

If I can one day be a teacher as amazing as Ian, I’ll be very happy. He’s funny, incredibly knowledgeable about anatomy and physiology, and beautifully gifted in giving everyone access to what they need from the class. Just wonderful. So I can hardly wait for 12.30pm to roll around, and although I know the Buddhist way is to practice non-attachment, I can’t help myself - I’m hanging out for my fix of Nirvana.

Today I’m loving: a totally unexpected phone call from my brother in China, who’s having a blast and sounds fantastic - and comes home in three weeks - woohoo!