One of my clients is a tattoo artist. I inherited him from another trainer who left Hunts, and thought Tim and I might get on well. I’d seen him around the gym, and was fascinated by his amazing artwork, so I was really excited at the prospect of training him. The night before our first session, I dreamed he tattooed dice on top of my feet, showing ones (or snake eyes, as they call it in the gambling biz). Although Freud might have had something else to say about it, I knew Tim would design me a tattoo.

Hunts is full of tattoos. Every second person to walk through the door seems to have one - or more, and it’s fascinating to see what people choose. A famous crop circle, tribal pieces, barbed wire bracelets, script - you name it, it’s there. After six months, I knew what I wanted, so Tim came up with a design, and today I got it done. A mermaid who looks like my daughter, on my lower back.

Tim specialises in Japanese style work, so she’s almost like a little geisha, with the most detailled scaley, curvy tail and wavy black hair. Only bits of it really hurt - over my spine, and oddly, close to my butt. I thought fleshiness would have made it less painful, but I was wrong! Strangely enough, two nights ago I had another dream where I was supposed to get the mermaid done, but instead it ended up being a demon who opened a portal to hell. Hmm, maybe I should check into nautical mythology, and see exactly what those mermaids were about … and where’s that damn book on Freud?

Today I’m loving: the Simpsons series 5 on DVD - some of the most classic episodes all rolled together into a neat cardboard package.

The Geisha Demon Mermaid